9 Key Strategies from an FBI Agent to Master the Art of Reading People
Understanding how others feel and think can greatly enhance your interactions, whether in business, personal relationships, or everyday encounters. With over two decades as a counterintelligence agent for the FBI, LaRae Quy has honed the art of reading people and offers practical insights that can help anyone improve their communication and understanding of others.
Here are nine essential tips from LaRae Quy to help you become more adept at reading people:
Create a Baseline
People have unique quirks and behavioral patterns, such as clearing their throat, crossing their arms, or scratching their head. By observing and noting these behaviors in a relaxed setting, you can establish a baseline for what is normal for an individual. This baseline will serve as a reference point for detecting deviations that might signal deeper issues.
Look for Deviations
Once you have a baseline, pay attention to any deviations from it. For example, if a business associate begins to display unusual behaviors, such as excessive throat clearing during a negotiation, it could indicate discomfort or unease. Spotting these deviations can provide insights into their true feelings or intentions.
Notice Clusters of Gestures
No single gesture or behavior should be taken in isolation. Instead, look for clusters of gestures that occur together. If someone exhibits multiple signs of discomfort, such as throat clearing combined with foot shuffling, this cluster can be a stronger indicator of underlying emotions or concerns.
Compare and Contrast
Observe how the individual interacts with others in different settings. If their behavior changes notably when interacting with different people, this could reveal important insights into their relationships or perceptions. Notice variations in their posture, expressions, and overall body language.
Look into the Mirror
Mirror neurons help us reflect others’ emotions and states of mind. When we see someone smile, we often smile back, and when someone frowns, we might frown as well. If a person doesn’t mirror your positive behaviors, it could suggest they are unhappy or disinterested in the interaction.
Identify the Strong Voice
Confident individuals often have a strong and clear voice, which can be a better indicator of their influence than their position in a meeting. Pay attention to who speaks assertively and who seems to command respect through their vocal presence. This can help you understand the real decision-makers or influential figures in any group.
Observe How They Walk
A person’s walk can reveal much about their confidence and self-esteem. Those who shuffle, walk slowly, or keep their head down may lack confidence. Recognizing these signs can help you tailor your approach to support and encourage them, or address any underlying issues they may have.
Pinpoint Action Words
Words are powerful indicators of thought processes and attitudes. Pay attention to action words or specific terms that people use. For instance, if someone uses words like “decided” or “determined,” it suggests careful consideration and decision-making. These clues can give you a deeper understanding of their mindset.
Look for Personality Clues
Understanding a person’s basic personality traits can significantly enhance your ability to read them accurately. Consider whether they are more introverted or extroverted, how they handle risk, and what motivates them. Observing their behaviors in different emotional states—stressed or relaxed—can also provide valuable insights.
Putting It All Together
Mastering the skill of reading people takes practice and attention to detail. While LaRae Quy’s tips provide a strong foundation, remember that there are always exceptions and nuances in human behavior. By integrating these principles into your observations, you can greatly improve your ability to understand and communicate effectively with others.
